Happy Friggin’ Fall, Y’all.

Judging from the weather, today was the first day of Louisiana’s obligatory two week fall season. I knew something was amiss the minute I drug myself out of bed this morning. Veterans may be able to predict the weather by old war wounds, but I can tell you the temperature outside by how cold my toes are. The high today was 71. Right now, it’s 58. And let me tell you, my toes are freezing.

I am not built for cold weather. I’m on the thin side, and I have circulation issues (thanks, Dad). When it drops below 75, I need a sweater. When it drops below 60, I break out the hat and gloves. Anything below that, and you’ll find me wearing multiple pairs of fuzzy socks and a blanket anytime I stray from the bed.

While most Louisiana natives are hanging “Happy Fall, Y’all” wreaths on their doors and anticipating the day they can wear boots and sweaters again, I’m wearing fingerless gloves to type and sticking hand warmers in my socks.

Ordinarily, I’m a bright, happy person, but when it comes to anything less than warm weather? Total humbug. I live a stone’s throw from New Orleans for a reason, dammit. Gimme my 100% humidity and 95 degree weather back. In the meantime, I’m going to stock up on Toasti Toes and bitch about the weather. So happy friggin’ fall, y’all. I’m going back to bed.

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